This is Life

I am just so excited to see what my future holds...

Last weekend was a blessing from Heaven. Out of nowhere, Megan's mom called and offered to pay for her to go home Saturday night until Sunday night.  Megan asked if I wanted to come and I said, "Can I bring some of my stuff to move home?"  We started packing! After loading her car full of my stuff to move home, I realized that there was NO way I could have gotten all of it home without this trip!!  That night, I made it to Riverton just in time to see my little brother win SECOND PLACE in his golfing tournament!!!  I was SO proud of him!!!

He was so excited... It was so cute! I felt so lucky to have been able to be there for it.  We celebrated by going to Sizzler (Izaak's favorite place) for dinner.

I just got to hang with my family for a little while over the weekend and then headed home.

When I got back to St. George, life hit me again.  AND... it was 102 degrees!! haha

Yesterday, me and Megan and Darcee spent pretty much the whole morning together after Darcee and I got done with our final.  We went to the shake shop and then headed to the mall just because we could.  We are all really excited for the changes ahead of us, we are just really sad to say goodbye to each other.

 This motorcycle picture was funny because just a few minutes before, this guy (Rodney) that I have been crushing on pretty much the whole school year called me and asked me to go on a date with him that afternoon and we were going to ride his motorcycle. :)  I was STOKED!! So he and a couple of his friends picked me up with their dates around 3:00PM.  We stopped at Harmon's to get stuff to make sandwiches and then headed to Austin's house to make them.  We packed all of the food into Rodney's saddlebags and headed out.  I was honestly really nervous at first to get on the motorcycle with Rod because it is SO big and we are both REALLY small haha but he made me feel perfectly safe.  We rode for quite a ways up to Snow Canyon.  I had never been here before, but it was sure beautiful (I left my phone home so I didn't take any pictures... sorry)!  When we got into the park, we found a table and set out our picnic.  The three guys got on the topic of their missions near the beginning and really went off about them.  I thoroughly enjoyed sitting there  listening to their hilarious stories and it got me thinking... if they have been home from their missions for over two years and all they can talk about on this date is exactly that... WOW! :)  I was very impressed with them and how much they went through to serve the Lord.  They were all great guys and we had so much fun.  After the picnic, we took the long way home.  I absolutely LOVED it!!  I couldn't help but smile the entire ride! I loved feeling the warm breeze and holding on tight ;) haha. SO girly... I know.  It was just so much fun!  I decided that if my husband wanted to have a motorcycle, I would probably be okay with it.  Rodney was so cute because he was SO worried about our safety.  He made sure to be extremely careful when we would go over bumps and things.  He would apologize for stopping a little bit quickly or turning too quickly or something.  He was just so cute. It was probably one of the funnest dates I have EVER been on! There is really nothing (that I know of) between me and Rodney, but I really respect him and the kind of man that he is.  I feel very lucky to have had the chance to go on several dates with him throughout this past year.  I  hope I can find more guys like him in my future.  He deserves one amazing woman!

These girls are so amazing! I am going to miss them SO much!!

I have been really sad talking about my future lately because I feel like everyone who hears my plans is disappointed in me.  It seems like they all think that I have fallen off the deep end and that my spirituality is at stake with my choices.  It seems like they don't approve of my choices and wish I would change my mind because this isn't normal for good Mormon girls.  Trust me... I have thought A LOT about this.  I have prayed CONSTANTLY and fasted SEVERAL times.  I have argued with the Lord and told Him that I am not strong enough to do something crazy like this.  I have felt defeated and  beaten.  I have felt helpless and hopeless.  But... I am telling you now that THIS IS WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO.  I am not doing this simply because  I think it will be an adventure...  I am doing this because I truly feel like it is what my Heavenly Father has planned for me.  I share that because I hope maybe someone is reading this who is experiencing something similar and needs to feel like they aren't alone in this.  I am not a very private person because I have learned SO much from the experiences of the people around me and I hope that maybe I can help someone too.

Though I am nervous for the journey ahead of me,  I am excited too.  I am excited to learn and to grow.  I am excited to improve myself and learn to truly take care of myself and the people around me.  I am excited to rely completely on my Lord and Savior.  I am excited to meet new people.  I am excited to become the kind of person that I want to marry someday. I realized last night that I worry way too much and that I just need to trust in the Lord.  Everything will happen the way it needs to and it will all happen in His time.

I hope those who love me will trust in the Lord as well and help support me.  This is not an easy choice. I am so grateful for my family because even though they were confused at first, they are SO loving and supportive.  Their strength lifts me up and gives me courage.  I love my family so much.  I am so blessed to have them.  The other day, I talked to every single one of my siblings in one day!! That was absolutely amazing to me because they all gave me advice and let me know how much they love me.  I don't know how I would make it in this life without the amazing family that I have!  I am truly a very lucky girl.