My life is changing... and somehow living in the idea of tomorrow seems to be the easiest way to get through, but then I realize how much I would miss out on TODAY. I will be on my own in a matter of weeks and I am scared to death that I just won't be able to do it. I am excited for the adventure and terrified for everything else that has to come along with it. This past week, I've been changing rooms because Izaak is anxious to get the biggest and brightest room in the house. I love the way I've been able to rearrange my new room exactly the way I want it, but it has made me realize that this is only temporary and then I'll be living in St. George.
Along with switching rooms, I quit my FABULOUS job last Thursday. I had a boss who really appreciated me and always let me know. I was making quite a bit more than minimum wage and I could pick my own schedule and work around everything I was involved in. It was wonderful and it was secure. I had to quit because I will be out of town pretty much from now until August 17th and then I move to Dixie on August 18th. I cried as I walked away :'{ It was so sad to have to give it up. Another big change was breaking up with Broc. He is an incredible young man with so much in store for him. I miss him a lot, but I know that God has something better planned for him that doesn't involve me. Hopefully our friendship will be able to continue forever. The change of heart has come from letting little things roll off my back. I have been praying harder than ever to be able to attain Christ-like attributes such as patience, the ability to forgive, being able to find the good in others, and unconditional love. As I have felt betrayed by friends and very hurt, he has been by my side. Though I was very angry at first, he helped soften my heart and show me that everyone is fighting their own war and that I am strong enough to deal with situations like this. He helped me realize that there is no point in holding grudges or talking badly about others... they are all His children too and I am no better than them, I just have different trials and weaknesses. I have been apologizing like crazy and asking for forgiveness. Hopefully I can become more and more Christ-like throughout my life and hopefully I won't take too many steps backwards.
There have been lots of rainbows lately and it just got me thinking... tomorrow is a NEW day... COMPLETELY new... so I just need to live as much as I can today and try to do better each new day. "I never said it would be easy... I only promised it would be WORTH IT."
1 comment:
You are doing a really good job updating this!! It's really cute! Thanks for loving me so much! I loved all the posts and I love seeing what you are up to! You write so well.. the words just flow and it is so easy to read and understand what you are saying! You are a very eloquent writer! These big changes in your life will bring lots of stress and lots of fun so just enjoy them!!!
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